I didn’t get in to this year’s Cook’s Creek Medieval Festival. Ron and Barb got a spot, like I said professional falling out so I guess that’ll show me for wanting healthy boundaries. At this point I’m like, “Go figure”. I’m sorry if you asked me last time if you could join this round, I don’t think Ron’s vision is the same as mine.

I am scheduled to work that weekend and when I applied for vacation, that weekend was already at threshold and I was given the “you can try to make a trade or extension” sphiel, literally within hours of me coming off a cancelled stat day to help someone because our staffing is so poor. I’m still encouraging my family to go, but I don’t feel like killing myself to get a day off anymore.

I’d make a joke about resilience but it’s the internet and people’s ability to intentionally misunderstand dark humor is legendary, so let’s just stick with “Go figure”.

My nieces absolutely had a blast two years ago, so if I have a piece of advice for all of you: if you’re going, ensure your short person has at least an accessory (foam sword, mebbe?). Seriously though, some of the costumes were stunning, my only thing is remember it’s outside and it probably will be hot so dress accordingly. Like seriously, not having enough costumes was my biggest problem I should have known better, I have been prepping so they are good to go this year. You don’t have to be accurate, seriously flowy skirt + tank top + flower tiara = Done.

I did get into Starlight and Shadows and I’ve applied for more shows but it does seem like I’m consistently second or third choice, and when I try to explain the waitlist, I usually say, “Hey I work I can’t take a last minute cancellation” people look at me like I’ve got my head on sideways. I need about 6 weeks to try to book and even then it depends on already poor staffing. I’m tired of working all night and then rushing off to a show or some variation thereof as well.

Ya’ll know strokes and other emergencies don’t take the weekends and holidays off, right?

Ah well, one day I will crack the code as to what education and credentials is enough, but part of me feels like it’s a glass ceiling. There’s always going to be an excuse why, “Not you this time” which really means, “Not you and we’ll find a reason later”.

A few years ago I was at a conference and I thought it was about books, but I found out that this particular group of writers/editors was just there to talk about themselves. Besides admitting they needed to extend a deadline for an anthology because Person X didn’t finish in time, somehow the topic became how mad she was that there was so much clothes aimed at young women – she had more money than the average 20 year old. She was maybe the age I am now (early forties).

Last year when I hurt myself I had to zip out to find business casual attire for light duties, because I have been doing this job for over 14 years I am not wearing more formal clothes at the EMS station this is a terrible idea the minute I go do anything truck related. I found no shortage of clothes and, honestly, I find there’s tons of clothes for me and my big issue is I’m busty and have big shoulders for a woman; I’m not a size 6 anymore so it’s not as noticeable. Oh, and I wanted flowy pants for the injury.

I live near Winnipeg, we aren’t exactly the most fashion-forward location.

I walked into a few editorial pitches. Granted, I look a little young but I dressed professionally and had the credentials, and I was basically put down and people didn’t want to hear from me.

It’s a special club and I’m not getting in.

But if you read the Epstein emails, maybe I don’t want to.

I can’t control outcomes I control what I do and how I act. I’ll find a way around the gatekeeping and in the meantime, try to behave honourably. It’s not the fastest route, and given the declining moral landscape in Canada, it’s probably the Not Ever Route. 

In other news, I’m giving up booze and most social media for lent. Why most social media? I need to check emails for business and I want to Instagram some reviews. I get news from X, but no wasting time on my phone is the theme. So don’t expect much Instagram/bookstagram until after my birthday, as of right now I might just go travel somewhere because I’m feeling glum about all the crap that’s going on. My country keeps doing incredibly stupid things, so maybe that’s not the best choice but, we’ll figure it out.

It’s Okay to be Smart

               I’m on vacation! Edits are going along swimmingly, now that my head’s back in the game. My goal besides the editing is to be super active, which, last year’s injury is still kind of plaguing me. Not as bad as it was by any stretch, but I think part of what’s going on is I’ve neglected fundamentals because I’m constantly trying to be more efficient. You’d think with being more productive we’d have more leisure time; I am writing this while I’m on a walking pad.

               A point of contention I’m getting with a lot of creators is something I’ve noticed for a while, but haven’t really talked about because it sounds arrogant. I’ve come to accept that while there is a certain amount of intelligence that is intrinsic, it’s sharpened by active choices. I can have the genetics to be say, very good at tennis, but if I never swing a racket I won’t be as good as someone who doesn’t but practices every day; so goes the mind. This doesn’t have to be reading X or doing as I have, but a mind needs ideas to thrive, and while books are an obvious form for ideas, they are not exclusive.

               Years ago, I was at When Words Collide round table with Guy Gavriel Kay, and he made the comment that a lot of books that we consider classics wouldn’t be published today due to them being too slow to start. I’ve noticed this in media in general, and I’m not saying everything is dumbed down, but it almost feels like the beast wants a formula that is known to work because of the investment required. I am not pointing my finger at indie publishing or other media, if anything the material I’m drawn to tends to push boundaries more than some mass produced material.

               That isn’t to say that you can’t find commercial success. Years prior to When Words Collide, I was in a class and I won’t name the author, but he said the problem for selling one of his books was that it was “Too smart” for a North American audience; I’d heard this about Japanese games before that and, I wonder how the rest of the world views us at times. Won’t name it or the author, but I agree, it really, really trusts the reader and it took me a few attempts to get through it, but he has a very successful mainstream career.

               With a lot of modern writing, especially when it’s rehashing old IP, I find a lot of people are jumping onto the project, ignoring the lore and want to put “their spin” on it – and hey, understandable if this is the twentieth interpretation of Robin Hood – but too often I think people are ignoring what made the audience fall in love with the original story and are treating it like we like a story because it has a dragon, not because we resonate with the hero going against impossible odds. There’s another part of this that really has to do with the Marxist view but, it’s a bigger problem than one counter-cultural move.

I’m rewatching The Lord of the Rings and, years ago I wasn’t one of the people complaining about the multiple endings during The Return of the King. If anything, I kind of wanted to see The Scouring of the Shire, but understood why they didn’t. When you’re taking a product and want the budget, sometimes you have to make it for a more general audience. But, sometimes you need to lay the foundation as opposed to ticking as many boxes the algorithm says are trending. Markets saturate certain trends and readers can’t get enough. They want more of the same; to me it feels like intellectual junkfood. It may satisfy the thirst for now, but later I want more to drink.

Books aren’t movies. We should stop trying to make them more like tiktok videos. I’m fine with producing books that aren’t meant to be high literature, but just because I’m writing science fiction or fantasy doesn’t make them inherently low-brow unless they come from Author X.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Lewis.