I didn’t get in to this year’s Cook’s Creek Medieval Festival. Ron and Barb got a spot, like I said professional falling out so I guess that’ll show me for wanting healthy boundaries. At this point I’m like, “Go figure”. I’m sorry if you asked me last time if you could join this round, I don’t think Ron’s vision is the same as mine.

I am scheduled to work that weekend and when I applied for vacation, that weekend was already at threshold and I was given the “you can try to make a trade or extension” sphiel, literally within hours of me coming off a cancelled stat day to help someone because our staffing is so poor. I’m still encouraging my family to go, but I don’t feel like killing myself to get a day off anymore.

I’d make a joke about resilience but it’s the internet and people’s ability to intentionally misunderstand dark humor is legendary, so let’s just stick with “Go figure”.

My nieces absolutely had a blast two years ago, so if I have a piece of advice for all of you: if you’re going, ensure your short person has at least an accessory (foam sword, mebbe?). Seriously though, some of the costumes were stunning, my only thing is remember it’s outside and it probably will be hot so dress accordingly. Like seriously, not having enough costumes was my biggest problem I should have known better, I have been prepping so they are good to go this year. You don’t have to be accurate, seriously flowy skirt + tank top + flower tiara = Done.

I did get into Starlight and Shadows and I’ve applied for more shows but it does seem like I’m consistently second or third choice, and when I try to explain the waitlist, I usually say, “Hey I work I can’t take a last minute cancellation” people look at me like I’ve got my head on sideways. I need about 6 weeks to try to book and even then it depends on already poor staffing. I’m tired of working all night and then rushing off to a show or some variation thereof as well.

Ya’ll know strokes and other emergencies don’t take the weekends and holidays off, right?

Ah well, one day I will crack the code as to what education and credentials is enough, but part of me feels like it’s a glass ceiling. There’s always going to be an excuse why, “Not you this time” which really means, “Not you and we’ll find a reason later”.

A few years ago I was at a conference and I thought it was about books, but I found out that this particular group of writers/editors was just there to talk about themselves. Besides admitting they needed to extend a deadline for an anthology because Person X didn’t finish in time, somehow the topic became how mad she was that there was so much clothes aimed at young women – she had more money than the average 20 year old. She was maybe the age I am now (early forties).

Last year when I hurt myself I had to zip out to find business casual attire for light duties, because I have been doing this job for over 14 years I am not wearing more formal clothes at the EMS station this is a terrible idea the minute I go do anything truck related. I found no shortage of clothes and, honestly, I find there’s tons of clothes for me and my big issue is I’m busty and have big shoulders for a woman; I’m not a size 6 anymore so it’s not as noticeable. Oh, and I wanted flowy pants for the injury.

I live near Winnipeg, we aren’t exactly the most fashion-forward location.

I walked into a few editorial pitches. Granted, I look a little young but I dressed professionally and had the credentials, and I was basically put down and people didn’t want to hear from me.

It’s a special club and I’m not getting in.

But if you read the Epstein emails, maybe I don’t want to.

I can’t control outcomes I control what I do and how I act. I’ll find a way around the gatekeeping and in the meantime, try to behave honourably. It’s not the fastest route, and given the declining moral landscape in Canada, it’s probably the Not Ever Route. 

In other news, I’m giving up booze and most social media for lent. Why most social media? I need to check emails for business and I want to Instagram some reviews. I get news from X, but no wasting time on my phone is the theme. So don’t expect much Instagram/bookstagram until after my birthday, as of right now I might just go travel somewhere because I’m feeling glum about all the crap that’s going on. My country keeps doing incredibly stupid things, so maybe that’s not the best choice but, we’ll figure it out.