I didn’t get in to this year’s Cook’s Creek Medieval Festival. Ron and Barb got a spot, like I said professional falling out so I guess that’ll show me for wanting healthy boundaries. At this point I’m like, “Go figure”. I’m sorry if you asked me last time if you could join this round, I don’t think Ron’s vision is the same as mine.

I am scheduled to work that weekend and when I applied for vacation, that weekend was already at threshold and I was given the “you can try to make a trade or extension” sphiel, literally within hours of me coming off a cancelled stat day to help someone because our staffing is so poor. I’m still encouraging my family to go, but I don’t feel like killing myself to get a day off anymore.

I’d make a joke about resilience but it’s the internet and people’s ability to intentionally misunderstand dark humor is legendary, so let’s just stick with “Go figure”.

My nieces absolutely had a blast two years ago, so if I have a piece of advice for all of you: if you’re going, ensure your short person has at least an accessory (foam sword, mebbe?). Seriously though, some of the costumes were stunning, my only thing is remember it’s outside and it probably will be hot so dress accordingly. Like seriously, not having enough costumes was my biggest problem I should have known better, I have been prepping so they are good to go this year. You don’t have to be accurate, seriously flowy skirt + tank top + flower tiara = Done.

I did get into Starlight and Shadows and I’ve applied for more shows but it does seem like I’m consistently second or third choice, and when I try to explain the waitlist, I usually say, “Hey I work I can’t take a last minute cancellation” people look at me like I’ve got my head on sideways. I need about 6 weeks to try to book and even then it depends on already poor staffing. I’m tired of working all night and then rushing off to a show or some variation thereof as well.

Ya’ll know strokes and other emergencies don’t take the weekends and holidays off, right?

Ah well, one day I will crack the code as to what education and credentials is enough, but part of me feels like it’s a glass ceiling. There’s always going to be an excuse why, “Not you this time” which really means, “Not you and we’ll find a reason later”.

A few years ago I was at a conference and I thought it was about books, but I found out that this particular group of writers/editors was just there to talk about themselves. Besides admitting they needed to extend a deadline for an anthology because Person X didn’t finish in time, somehow the topic became how mad she was that there was so much clothes aimed at young women – she had more money than the average 20 year old. She was maybe the age I am now (early forties).

Last year when I hurt myself I had to zip out to find business casual attire for light duties, because I have been doing this job for over 14 years I am not wearing more formal clothes at the EMS station this is a terrible idea the minute I go do anything truck related. I found no shortage of clothes and, honestly, I find there’s tons of clothes for me and my big issue is I’m busty and have big shoulders for a woman; I’m not a size 6 anymore so it’s not as noticeable. Oh, and I wanted flowy pants for the injury.

I live near Winnipeg, we aren’t exactly the most fashion-forward location.

I walked into a few editorial pitches. Granted, I look a little young but I dressed professionally and had the credentials, and I was basically put down and people didn’t want to hear from me.

It’s a special club and I’m not getting in.

But if you read the Epstein emails, maybe I don’t want to.

I can’t control outcomes I control what I do and how I act. I’ll find a way around the gatekeeping and in the meantime, try to behave honourably. It’s not the fastest route, and given the declining moral landscape in Canada, it’s probably the Not Ever Route. 

In other news, I’m giving up booze and most social media for lent. Why most social media? I need to check emails for business and I want to Instagram some reviews. I get news from X, but no wasting time on my phone is the theme. So don’t expect much Instagram/bookstagram until after my birthday, as of right now I might just go travel somewhere because I’m feeling glum about all the crap that’s going on. My country keeps doing incredibly stupid things, so maybe that’s not the best choice but, we’ll figure it out.

Media Needs to Do Better

Unreliable narrators are fun for me as a reader, because I like seeing what you did there. I shouldn’t have to second guess what is being put out in the news.

The first bit of commentary I put out the day of Charlie Kirk’s assassination was a news commentator saying, “We have no idea what this could be and that it could easily be someone firing a gun in the air to celebrate the event”. That genius has since been fired and says his words were misconstrued.

I agree with waiting for evidence and even if it seems obvious, sometimes we don’t know the whole story. Saying something like that makes me believe you’re either a paid shill or incredibly stupid; and my patience for paid liars who think they’re more clever than they are is at an all-time low.

I’m not expecting some people to be as precise in their words as others; when I was in University I learned to be careful with not only what I wrote but said because some people would attack everything and everything if it came from me. If you are being paid to write articles or are putting a book out I expect you to have some control over the written word. If you are paid to speak, maybe you should learn to think before you talk. I am bored with weak rhetorical conjecture; if you cannot keep up with someone who doesn’t do it for a living perhaps this is out of your league. If your goal is to gaslight or try to control the narrative, I have been kind up until this point for your sake; we cannot commit to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.

I’m not saying you can’t speculate, but in general, there’s a time and a place for you to report what you saw (what we know so far) and additional venues for you to speak frankly. Consider if I were to give my opinion to a friend over coffee: we are equals, assuming we didn’t drive together the worst is we leave and go our separate ways. If I give my same opinion as a teacher (especially to children who are still learning to be articulate), as a paramedic to a sick patient, or as a news commentator, there’s an inherent power difference; do you dare speak back to the person who controls what grade you will obtain? I’d love to say I’d encourage free thinking but, let’s be real for as many people who are genuinely able to hold themselves in a debate, there’s plenty who pick their team or tribe over the truth.

We can get there, but you have to realize that not everyone is reasonable or reach first for truth. I haven’t watched much paid-for Canadian media in years because it is so egregiously propaganda.

I think that’s why I am such a huge fan of alternative media. One of the issues I think I’ve run into is when I’m at events, is that I meet a lot of people who want to keep reaching for what’s popular. I think part of why I’m frustrated is that I don’t want to make my work more like what’s out there; believe me I’ve been told my writing’s decent enough, if only I’d use my talents to do something else.

I don’t know about you but, there’s plenty of them doing that. And, let’s also be honest: just because it’s not at the forefront doesn’t mean there’s no audience for it. I’m trying to explain the explosion in popularity of LitRPG (which I haven’t really read, if I’m honest) when Romantasy seems to be the market dominator this year in the Spec Fic markets, yes it probably will outperform other markets, but that doesn’t mean other markets don’t exist.

So yeah: Media needs to be better and be responsible and try to tell the whole story, even the inconvenience parts. Treat your readers with respect.

In other news: My first publisher, Champagne Books, has folded so I have gotten the rights back to everything. That deserves its own post, so probably get another one of these sooner than later. I also don’t know how much I’ve mentioned it but I injured myself back in April and, while I have been back on truck since end of June I was feeling pain last week. I stretched it out waited for pay day to go for a massage, and my hips were completely out of alignment. I was able to kayak this summer just fine but the Stand Up Paddleboard was weaaaaaak, so the short and dirty is that my glutes are imbalanced. I’m plenty strong and have lots to work with, so I need to focus on fixing them.